The Full Monte Read-Along Chapters 80ish-117: Adieu, Dirtbag Dumas

If you have trouble maneuvering your ship into port at Marseilles, steer yourself over to the master post.

Me before this read-along vs. me after this read-along:

Well, mes amis, a wise man once said that all human wisdom is contained in these two words: “wait and hope”. Or, more precisely, “attendre et espérer”.

So let’s wait and hope that the next Reading in Bed read-along goes better, n’est-ce pas?

Turns out that Rick was right – this book is too plot driven and there’s just not much to say about it. It’s got the sweep of books we’ve previously read-along here at Reading in Bed, but all the locations, political regimes, social classes, and M. Dantes’ many disguises were only mesmerizing at a surface level. The Count of Monte Cristo didn’t leave me with much to think about, like War and Peace; nor did it give me a vivid portrait of the French Revolution, like A Tale of Two Cities. The social satire was not as biting as in Cecilia, and sadly, even when it comes to vengeance, Edmond’s got nothing on Captain Ahab (also, this book has a distinct lack of dick jokes).

Let’s also take a moment to… appreciate how, towards the end of the tale, Dumas describes 39-year-old Mercédès as wrinkled, gray, with eyes rimmed in purple that “no longer dazzle by their brilliancy,” while The Count rides off into the sunset with a women he purchased at the age of 11, kept as a slave, and who is often described as loving him like a father.

Image result for the count of monte cristo gif

Dumas, why you gotta play Mercedes like that?

Well, we’ll always have Franz fucking those statues. That had *better* be in the movie… which I do intend to watch! I deserve to oogle 19-year-old Henry Cavill in period costume, damn it (it’s okay because I was 22 when the movie came out in 2002… look, if Edmond can be a dirtbag, so can I.)

Image result for henry cavill count of monte cristo gif do your worst

He’s so little!

I’m also pleased to announce that new reader-along Liz, who was almost certainly persuaded to join by read-along veteran Emma, has won the giveaway! Her Litographs t-shirt is on it’s way across the Atlantic. Thanks Liz, for your dedication to extreme recapping – you should have been hosting this thing!

And thanks to all of you, even my brother-in-law Tony, who’s still on chapter 8, and even Lia, who bought the book, didn’t read it, and watched The Full Monty instead. Let’s hear your final thoughts – are you waiting and hoping? Still out for revenge? Lusting after any of the circa 2002 actors? 



  1. Rick @

    The movie is SO different than the book. I didn’t expect it to be this different. It’s so much better, if a little more predictable. It’s a heck of a lot more fun.

    Thanks for hosting this, though! I will be making a vlog about it, rather than doing a write-up. I hope it makes up for not posting anything about it this whole time 😛

  2. Liz Whitehouse

    Wooo! I loved this readathon. I may have lost my way with reading AND posting…I may have invested a little much in the early posts…but it was awesome and I am super happy and thankful to have won the giveaway!
    Next, the movie, because I need this movie!

  3. Amy Yuki Vickers

    Thank you for hosting this readalong. I don’t do these often and I enjoyed your blog posts. I am embarrassed to admit that I am still somewhere around Chapter 70. Like you said, it’s not the most fantastic story ever. My progress is slow, but I am still curious enough to keep reading.

    • lauratfrey

      Ah, I’m sorry you weren’t around for War and Peace last year. That one was a lot more fun, I think. I’m glad to have read this though, and I still might read The Three Musketeers one day!

  4. Kat

    I’ve never read Dumas, though honestly I’ve wanted to! My husband has forbidden it and told me horror stories every time I attempt to read The Three Musketeers. I am sorry it didn’t work out for you, but what a clever name for the readalong, The Full Monty. There’s something to be said for finishing a classic, even though it might not be a classic at all.

    • lauratfrey

      What’s your husband’s beef with Dumas? This is a generalization, but I find that people who don’t love most classics, love this one. So, being someone who *does* love most classics, I guess I should’ve know how this would go…

      • Kat

        Oh, my husband is a lover of classics, and he dislikes Dumas SO MUCH. I, too, am a lover of classics, but we don’t always like the same books. So perhaps one day…

  5. Bellezza

    Au contraire, I found much to think about when I read The Count of Monte Cristo ten years ago. In fact, I will never forget the “Christ-like” swapping of lives at the end. I found that so very powerful, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget such sacrifice. At the time, it moved me very much.

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